Just to add on.

Right that evening I got this pretty comforting sms from an unknown being who's apparently a teacher, and it seems like I'm the only soul among my peers to have received it.

Ahem.. "Dear students I heard math p1 was difficult. guess what? I was on bus n i heard some rjc njc students complain difficult too. which is great! easier to get A!"

Seriously, I can't think of any possible candidate who would mass-send this. Anyone familiar seems unlikely as I've got all of their contacts saved already. Somewhat uncanny.. hmm but! it sure works anyhow =D

Certain things in life, when this is how it goes, then it's how it's going to be. There is no point trying to alter any of the stuff, or if one might put it in a meaner way, 'upgrading' one's life to a higher standard. Some elements are simply too far beyond my limits to interfere. and it's not like anyone can in the first place. whether you're brought up to go bang bang bang in the mrt, or taught the value of opinions and self expression. to grow to become the way i don't desire. but is there a choice? i guess not. should i even be contemplating about this? well. i only have myself to answer. when stuff are more or less fixed.. i can only be enlightened of the fact that it's not so much about knowing and learning, but it's in realising and understanding. i don't mean to suggest that i hate myself. i just think.. perhaps i'm lacking self respect.

Maybe I should change to wordpress.com or some domain like that. feeling tired with this whole blog thing. would very much prefer a private journal for now.